I can't explain why things are the way they are. For some reason even though I told myself I never would have kids, I feel compelled almost to accept that a very likely possibility when I'm with Zarni. I guess it's the chemistry between us, it's so strong. I just feel so strongly about him, even more strongly that I found about Kristoffer. I don't know why because maybe it is just the chemistry something about our genes is just matched up so intensely as to create healthy strong offspring. I really don't know no I just know the highs are high and the lows are low. I dont know why I want him so much it doesn't make any sense to me.
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