Two Months Short of a Year

I'm laying here in my bed as I have been for hours now and I can't seem to come up with a name for this post. I know that I'll be talking about the relationship I just ended and even though I ended it, it's harder to deal with than I imagined. A trivial little thing that I noticed today is when all the feelings really set in. The numb, cold, hard shell broke away and now I too am coping with a loss. I feel very deeply for you still but it just couldn't continue going in the downward spiral that it was. It became unhealthy, for both of us. The good times were some of the best times and I'll never forget those. The day of the cowboys game and the first time to India Grill were all beautiful, special moments to me. It hurts to think about the things we did and won't be doing together. Deleting me as a friend on facebook really hit me and now I'm here writing about our relationship. It wasn't all wonderful though and we both were in the wrong at times. Maybe we could've fixed it but I don't think we could've with as many chances as we gave eachother. I think it would've always been this high and low relationship with the always present doubt in the back of my mind. I just couldn't fight it and I grew tired of trying to fight it. So, yes I did give up and I backed out. I will really miss you though and I'm happy that I ever met you. I'm really fighting the urge to contact you right now and I have my phone next to me hoping you'll reach out to me instead, but I know that it won't happen. I have to keep telling myself that this is whats best for me.