Damn

I feel so dismissed...I didn't get as much attention as I wanted. Maybe I'm too needy...this is so complicated and confusing.

Fuck

I miss Jes like crazy right now. I feel like I'm having withdrawals or something. I feel so anxious I can hardly take it.

Analytical Bullshit

Nice at your own demise
How many phone calls are okay
But eat away at you

Hydro update 3

Went to I hope but started feeling really nauseous and threw up in a paper bag. Left a huge mess and didn't get food. Jaheir is on his way to get me my beloved Jack in the box. Started getting paranoid that I was about to die if I fell asleep. Took a shower and sobered up. Possible sex tonight. This was an opioid and it felt so great. This is very dangerous so I will not be doing this again or at least for some time. The only thing I can think to say to describe it as that it just feels "good," that's all there really is to it. I think the Tylenol is honest what fucked me up. I read it's way easier to overdose on that then on hydrcodone. Regardless I feel better and I'm about to eat. This is so crazy and I can't believe everyone isn't annoyed with me honestly.

Hydro J

20 mg he said when he moves he no longer feels motion.
Proceeded to take 5mg more
1:44 am he is very paranoid

Laurens current dosage 10mg
After 15mg
1:44 no change
Feel mildly high. Just painless b it not out of this world. Practically sober.

Hydro

Sobered me up from my marijuana high
Messed up texting
Then started messing up speech "osman/otchman"
Dose 2tsp

Eyelids

We are feeling the same feelings
I'm inconsolable
I don't know what to do
Nothing has ever been as deep
Nothing has ever pulled me faster to sleep
Revolution but I am stuck
I feel nothing
I want us to be but I'm in doubt
Shadow come and shadow walk
Spinning out
Form the last line
Form the last lie
We are falling
We are falling
We are falling
We are falling
Stop me
Kiss me

Forbidden fruit

Let me think
Know how to react
I've done all I can do
Can't take it back
Ancestry here I come
I broke the rules
In the room without walls
I focus you
I wanted you
Search inside of me
Trace me down
And I'll fight with you
Track me down
And I'll lay with you
Fickle, mind
Tragic, I panic